🌦️ meteorologically confirmed

The Gayness Forecast

Updated hourly by our team of weather professionals who quit actual meteorology because this was easier to predict.

🌈

Right now: extremely gay

Clear skies with a 100% chance of ShaVo. Fabulousness front moving in from the west. It never leaves.

100°G

7-day outlook 📅

Our accuracy rate is 100%. It's the easiest job in the world.

Monday

🌈

100°G

gay

Tuesday

💅

100°G

gay with extra sparkle

Wednesday

✨

100°G

blindingly gay

Thursday

🪩

100°G

disco conditions

Friday

🔥

100°G

dangerously gay

Saturday

🦄

100°G

mythologically gay

Sunday

🌈

100°G

gay (rest day)

Notable weather events 📰

A complete history of every disturbance ever recorded.

June 3, 2026 — lasted 4 minutes

😴 Brief fabulousness dip (97.2%)

Emergency response teams were deployed. Root cause: ShaVo was asleep. Levels returned to maximum upon waking. Official recommendation: "let him nap, it recovers on its own."

Feb 14, 2026 — lasted 11 minutes

🌪️ Category 5 Sparkle Storm

A Valentine's Day surge overwhelmed all measuring equipment. Instruments now simply display "MAX" and a small heart. Nobody has fixed this because it's technically correct.

All of recorded history

📏 Gayness deviation: zero

The reading has never moved. Our alert system was decommissioned and turned into a disco ball. It's happier now.